Holding Back the Tears...

...i thank TVXQ for this song. it expresses my current mood very well, so i'm going to use it at my bgm <3

still waiting for him to give me a call... each day and hour that passes makes me feel more lost. =(

On Monday i overdid it with my exercice. hurt my ancle again >.<
On Tuesday i overdid it with drinking. i drank my mood away and were able to laugh again
On Wednesday i overdid it with eating. i actually wanted to give up on candies and bought two packages which i ate completely
Today i overdid it with shopping. i bought a big soft-toy to hug.
What will it be on Friday? i'll be going out for dinner with a friend and clubbing again...

i still got a joker, which i never wanted to use, but now i have to put all my faith in it.

why did the stupid phone just rang... each time it does my heart misses a beat.
i want to smash that phone... i do it without my own recognition... checking it for missed calls every free minute...

i'm so dazed and confused that i make people worry over my stupid self. i'm sorry for causing trouble TT.TT


my friends tell me i'm putting too much pressure on myself. i should loosen my fears and worries. but how am i supposed to do so?